Hoopla!

I am thinking back to one of my first memories of our small group, and I remember having the opportunity to reassure Kate of the legitimate concerns she had about being able to keep up with the workload, and the relief she felt when hearing that others struggle as well.  It came full circle today as she reassured me that if I can handle school at EBC, I will be able to handle the work of a Nursing student.

It has been a very interesting experience for me in this "more mature group" as we often call it, especially since I am the youngest by at least 6 years.  In these last two weeks it has been especially evidant.

Last week we talked about wether or not a spiritual mentor could be younger than the mentee.  My age was obviously noticed in that context, and I did make points for age being less relevant.  The concensus seemed to be that it does not matter if a spiritual mentor is younger than the mentee; if the spiritual mentor is young, as in immature, then that is certainly a problem.  I thought it was ironic that even if I was talking to people 8+ years older than myself who did not agree with being mentored by somebody younger than themselves, they were still listening to me.  My point may have been made regardless of the words I used ;)

This week we had a barbeque at Kate's house, and everybody was again able to make it.  What a great group!  And to think that Kate likes to do nice things like this. That is crazy!  Anyway, topics ranged from sexual techniques, bad sex, good sex, orgasms, fake orgasms, fidelity, potential partners, sexual preferences, and masterbation within the context of marriage.  We also talked about border crossing by way of Lake Superior in a ski-doo.  I learned a lot for sure, though there were times when I was uncertain about wether or not I wanted to know what I was learning.  And I have a lot of conversations about sexuality.  I simply have never seen people get so honest so fast, and this has been a huge benefit to me.

It is not possible to see from my current perspective if this will be possible, but I would love for our group to connect next year.  If nothing else I feel I have excellent rapport with all the members of my group, and would feel comfortable coming to them for advice or help.  Perhaps we will take our developing relational skills and use them in new supportive relationships, or perhaps we will have the opportunity to support each other again in the future.

What should a spiritual mentor look like?

All were present and involved in the conversation.

Our last group discussion proved to be enlightening. Being somewhat of a more mature in age group (to my group- it's a good thing!!) we have had some healthy talks and rest with the fact that it is okay to have our own opinion, we do not all need to agree, we can still get along even if we do not agree. Moreover, to have a healthy balance it is good to be open minded to hear what everyone has to say. Spending the last ten weeks together has helped us to grow personally and become more comfortable as a group. Announcing that Kate has made the decision to be baptized is a true sign that individuals in our group are growing in Christ. She is gettin baptized this Sunday! Congratulations Kate, we are soooooo excited for you!!!!

I raised the question again of: should we have a younger spiritual mentor? My purpose in asking it again was not to challenge the comment that we should not get “caught up in age” , but more to shed light on the deeper part of where the question is coming from and what it really means. Some valuable comments by the group were said such as: Good mentors ask questions and they don't give all the answers. We could get accidentally mentored, could be different mentors for different things. Younger could bring a nice touch especially if the person has not had a Christian relationship before.

Here is my personal view: I firmly agree, we should not get caught up in age, in fact, if the person is God sent and is spiritually mature with living in Christ, nothing else should really matter. God sent is the key word. Should we not be looking to the Bible and Holy Spirit for guidance on who should be our Spiritual Mentor? The Bible tells us that Elders should teach us (don't have the verse for the sake of time and space), older women to younger women and older men to younger men. Age is not mentioned, so being the ESTP that I am, logic comes first to mind. Experience from living in the world would naturally come from age. So this would look differently at different ages. It would be hard (but not impossible) to have someone under 20 mentor someone over 30. What about the sexual thoughts a 30 year old would get? The 20 year old is just identifying what that means to them. But in the later years, the difference is less extreme. Since we can only change with God's help, that would mean that we are mature enough to make the right decisions and appropriately use the authority in Christ that He has given us. In short, it is very useful to learn from everyone around us both younger and older. However, I define a Spiritual Mentor as a package deal. Someone who will hold me accountable and will have the experienced intuitive gifting that can probe my inner thoughts. Having someone who is wise (more likely an elder) is the most wise decision, otherwise although we will learn, we will be limited to what we can learn. This has nothing to do with being not teachable, they are completely two different things. Perhaps this is age that helps you see this. We have all been young at one time and look back at the interesting views we had. At what age do we become older?

I am glad that we are encouraging so many people to be mentors I believe that it is important to build people up. Possibly a solution is to have younger poeple shadow experienced spiritual mentors so that there can be more and each person can be highly influential In Christ.

Thank-you Jason for the guest speakers, it was very nice to hear them. You have been a strong leader and been open to what we all have to say. Also, having the small group was unique and a great idea. I really enjoyed my group, our class and all the discussions.